5 Things You Need to Know About Your Newborn Baby’s Naps

If you’re expecting, or recently welcomed a little one home–congrats!–I’m guessing you may be focused quite a bit on all the things needed on your baby registry, what to expect during labor and delivery, and maybe reading up and educating yourself on breastfeeding.

This is common.

What’s not so common? Educating yourself about newborn sleep before your baby comes.

Many parents, a few weeks into life with their newborn baby, are kicking themselves, wishing they would have been better prepared in regards to what newborn sleep looks like. (This was me for sure.)

We often hear, “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but what about when you lay your newborn down and they startle themselves awake as their head hits the crib mattress?

Or how about when they won’t nap anywhere but on your chest?

Even when I was a new mom for the second time, I didn't know what I didn't know. 

We started having issues with my son's sleep when he was around 9 weeks old. I remembered (still remember) very vividly how my daughter had been at that age; she would take these super long naps in the crib, in the stroller, in the Mamaroo, etc. It was a dream! But when my son came along…well, let’s just say it was a very different experience.

We ended up doing mostly contact naps, where I would let him sleep on my chest while I binged Netflix. It was lovely for a while! Until he reached 8-9 weeks. 

All of a sudden, my son wouldn’t nap easily—or sometimes, at all. I distinctly remember him being fussy and super exhausted, but he wouldn’t fall asleep on me anymore. He’d be up for 4 hours at a time, and when he'd finally fall asleep, he’d wake up after just 20 minutes, still fussy and unhappy and soooo tired. Looking back now, I realize he was clearly overtired, but at the time, I had no idea!

His day sleep deteriorated further, and his night sleep was a struggle, too. If I was lucky, we’d get a 4-hour stretch; many nights he was up every 90 minutes. By 11 weeks, I could barely function from the sleep deprivation and having to take care of my toddler, and I hired a sleep consultant. 

I had never heard the saying "sleep begets sleep" before, and didn't know that the better he napped, the better he would do at night. Thank goodness for my sleep consultant!

She taught me to focus on wake windows and naps, and once I started doing that, everything dramatically improved. 

All of this is to say, you can have two very different newborn experiences across children, and just because you think you handled it well one time does not mean you'll be prepared with everything you need to know next time. And that’s okay! These are two totally different people we’re talking about.

The transition from one baby to two can be challenging—at least, it was for me—and I wish we would all cut ourselves a bit more slack during the newborn phase, even if it’s not your first go-round at parenting.

What can be helpful? Educating yourself so you know what’s typical, what’s not, and what you can do if an issue comes up with your child’s sleep, or rather, lack thereof.

So let’s get into it! Here’s what you can expect when it comes to your newborn baby’s naps.

Newborns only have two sleep cycles, so naps can be super short or incredibly long.

Your baby was born with only two sleep cycles, and these two sleep cycles can be pretty irregular until your child goes through a physiological shift to these cycles around four months, when they’ll transition to having four stages of sleep, just like us adults.

What does this mean when it comes to your baby’s naps?

At birth, your baby’s sleep cycles are called “active sleep” and “quiet sleep.” During active sleep, your baby may make noise (even cry out!), smile or grimace, wiggle or kick their legs, and even startle themselves awake. You may notice irregular breathing patterns as well. This is like light (or REM) sleep. During quiet sleep, it’s the opposite. Your baby will be very still, have deep, regular breathing, and you could pick up their arm, drop it, and they wouldn’t wake up.

These stages of sleep can be 20-40 minutes in length. If you lay your baby down when they’re in active sleep, they’ll likely wake up. You may also notice they wake themself after only 15-20 minutes because as they’re transitioning from one cycle to the next, they have an awakening. That’s because they haven’t quite figured out how to link these sleep cycles together, and they may need your help. If you’re holding your baby during a nap, they may take a monster 3-hour nap, simply because the warmth of your closeness, your heartbeat, and the skin-to-skin contact helps calm their nervous system, which allows them to connect those cycles without fully waking.

So, as you can see, very short, or very long, naps during the newborn stage are very typical.

Contact naps can be very helpful!

So, will you create bad habits if you hold your baby for naps?

No! Contact naps can be very helpful during the newborn stage. We want to help your baby when they need it and also make sure they’re getting the sleep they need during the day to set them up for success at night.

You also don’t want an overtired baby heading into the evening, so if your baby is struggling to nap in their bassinet or crib, contact naps can be a great way to get through the day and ensure your baby is getting those long daytime stretches that prevent overtiredness at bedtime.

I’ll get into this more in detail below, but I always recommend the first nap of the day be in your baby’s crib or bassinet. That’s because the first nap of the day is most important, and sets the tone for the rest of the day’s naps that follow. After that, it’s totally up to you! Help them as they need so they take a nice long nap, or begin a nap in your baby’s sleep space and if they wake after 1 sleep cycle, extend the nap by holding them.

Carrier naps are a great option too if you need to get some stuff done and need your hands free.

Practice the first nap of the day in their crib or bassinet.

You know the saying, “Practice makes perfect.” That’s how it is with your baby’s naps.

The first nap of the day is always the easiest one to practice because your baby hasn’t built up sleep debt yet, so plan on that! When your baby wakes for the day, get them up and feed them in a brightly lit area of the house. We want to send the message that we eat and nourish our bodies during the daytime. And do your best to keep them awake while eating to help them get a full feed as opposed to just a snack. This also sets you up for success in following an eat-play-sleep routine.

Of course, your baby still needs night feeds, but the more you can follow eat-play-sleep, the better your baby will be able to consolidate their sleep into longer chunks at night. That also means it will be easier for your baby to drop the night feeds on their own as they no longer need them. Then, after about 45-60 minutes of being awake, change your baby’s diaper, swaddle them up, and put them in their crib or bassinet with the white noise on and the lights off.

See what happens. Maybe they’ll surprise you and fall asleep all on their own!

Or, maybe they’ll need some help. Either is ok, and both are normal. Start by providing the least amount of intervention and move toward more if they need it. You can: Shush from the doorway; Gently lay your hand on their chest; Shush and gently touch; Gently wiggle the mattress; Give your baby the pacifier. Between each intervention, give your baby the opportunity to go to sleep.

The more you practice this, the better they will get! If you want to try the first new naps each day in the crib, great! And if you want to switch back to contact naps as the day goes on, that’s great too! There are no hard and fast rules during the newborn days…except doing that first nap in the crib, of course :p

The more they can be horizontal and stationary for sleep, the more independent they’ll be able to be over time.

Follow wake windows and watch for your baby to display sleep cues.

Because your baby is growing and developing at an astronomical rate, especially in their first year of life, they need to sleep. A lot.

When your baby is first born, they’ll only be able to handle about 45 minutes of time awake before needing to sleep again. Over time, you’ll notice that they have a little more awake time stamina, and can handle closer to 60 minutes. We refer to these average windows, by age, as wake windows.

For the first month or two, follow 45-60 minute wake windows and offer your baby naps accordingly. You may also want to watch for sleepy cues during the first six months or so. Your baby will show you they are almost ready for a nap when they begin staring off into the distance, have reddening eyebrows, are yawning, or turning their face away from stimulation. If they’re showing you fussiness, clenching fists, arching their back, or crying, they’re likely overtired. You’ll need to calm them before you can get them to sleep.

The trick is to catch them before they get overtired so that they don’t fight sleep.

Swaddle your baby for naps in their crib or bassinet.

One other thing to keep in mind is that your baby just spent nine months in the womb. It was warm, dark, loud, and tight! Anytime you can re-create that experience for them, you can expect them to calm down or be fairly content…unless they’re hungry, of course!

But, one thing that you can do for all horizontal, stationary sleep in the crib or bassinet, is to swaddle your baby! Swaddling helps your baby feel that pressure they experienced in the womb, which can help calm them, and prevent their Moro Reflex from waking them up after they’ve fallen asleep.

Toward the end of your baby’s wake window, change their diaper and swaddle them. If you can do this before they get overtired, it will be easier to do.

I know there are a LOT of swaddles out there. Some babies prefer to be swaddled with their arms down (most swaddles are designed for this type of swaddling and can have zippers, velcro, or can be a loose blanket that you have to work your magic with!) and others prefer their arms up (there are more specific swaddles for this). Find what your baby seems to prefer and stick with it until they are around 8 weeks old or begin to show signs of rolling. Then you’ll want to switch to a sleep sack.

If you feel like you could use some more help, support, or education when it comes to your newborn’s sleep, check out my services here! I’d love to help you.