How to Create the Perfect “Schedule” for Your Baby

 

Having a newborn comes with expecting and accepting that things are about to change–a lot! Of course, your family itself will change, but there will be changes to your life in general and your day-to-day schedule, too. And for many parents, not having a consistent, reliable schedule can be very challenging in the early months.

Every day may look a little different – you wake at various times, you’re feeding your baby on demand, and life pretty much revolves around what your child is doing and whether you’re able to sneak a nap in.

This inconsistency can be rough. I get it.

As do many of my clients. I once worked with a wonderful family who came to me when their baby was 10 weeks old. Mom was desperate for a schedule, but it was a bit premature to go by the clock at that point.

Instead, we followed an eat-play-sleep routine and were able to work baby’s day into a solid 4-nap schedule by following age-appropriate wake windows. We created some consistency in the day by waking her baby up at the same time each morning, and naturally, as her baby got closer to 4 months and was showing signs of needing a bit less day sleep, we transitioned from 4 naps down to 3.

One of the reasons this was so effective is because in the early months, it’s not realistic to put your baby on a schedule, per se. But it’s absolutely possible to follow a routine and create a rhythm! In fact, that is actually more practical than following the clock. And in time, you will see some predictability emerge! This can help make your days go from chaotic and exhausting to organized and more streamlined, all while taking your baby’s needs into account.

In this post, I want to share how you can actually do this when it feels as though you’re floundering in the newborn days – and beyond.

Wake Your Sleeping Baby

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase before: ”Never wake a sleeping baby!” 

Oh, believe me…that phrase has been seared into my mind with the amount of times I’ve heard it. But since becoming a sleep consultant, I realize how valuable it is to wake babies–both to feed them, and to help establish their circadian rhythm.

Yes, you read that right.

You can wake a sleeping baby. And in many cases, you really should!

At around 6-8 weeks old, the maternal melatonin that your baby carried over from their time in utero begins to wear off, and your baby begins to develop their own circadian rhythm. This won’t fully mature until your baby is closer to 3-4 months, but when you wake your baby at the same time every day, this helps regulate your child’s body clock, allows your child to learn to consolidate sleep and leads to more restorative rest, and reinforces the difference between daytime and nighttime sleep.

Waking your baby at the same time every morning also brings more predictability to their sleep patterns throughout the rest of the day, which can make it a bit easier to plan for appointments, outings, etc.

Not only do I think young babies should wake at the same time every day, but older kids should, too.

Especially if you’re seeing protests at bedtime or if your little one has their days and nights mixed up, or their schedule varies greatly from day to day, keeping a consistent wake time each morning can change the game.

Just as waking at the same time can help your child’s internal clock, when you begin each day at the same time, you’ll find your own circadian rhythm begins to regulate, making it easier to get quality sleep.

Focus on Wake Times

Once you’ve established a consistent wake time each morning, you can then focus on wake times, or wake windows.

Did you know that there’s an optimum amount of time your baby should be awake between each of their naps and night sleep?

That’s right…your child’s body can really only handle being awake for a certain window of time, and when that window is up, it’s time for sleep! When you focus on these wake times and ensure your little one is going down to sleep at the end of their window, they will be ready for sleep without being overtired.

If you’ve ever seen a really fussy baby who is difficult to soothe or fights sleep, or a hyperactive toddler who has missed their nap then you know–overtiredness leads to a burst of alertness and crankiness, where your child can’t physically settle to sleep easily because of the cortisol running through their system.  

Watch for Sleepy Cues

So, how can you avoid having an overtired child? By paying attention to their sleep cues! 

These are some of the “ready to sleep” signs that your baby may show just before the end of their wake window: 

  • red eyelids or eyebrows

  • glassy eyes

  • staring off blankly

  • losing interest in “playtime”

  • avoiding eye contact

  • yawns

  • ear pulling

  • nose rubbing

If you miss any of these signs, you may notice your baby:

  • rubbing their eyes

  • fussing

  • crying

  • arching their back

  • balling their fists

If you see any of these signs, you have an overtired baby on your hands, and you’ll want to calm them down (with swaddle, white noise, and light movement), before attempting to settle them to sleep.

Since children who are overtired can struggle falling asleep at night or have more frequent night wakings, watching for sleep cues and following their wake windows help to ensure they’re getting the best sleep possible.

Of course, just as you nail your baby’s wake window, it changes! That’s because as your child grows, their wake windows will lengthen. For example, a newborn baby can handle being awake for about 45-60 minutes before needing sleep, whereas an 8-month-old has wake windows of up to 3 hours.

Here’s a small sample for each of those ages and how wake windows would impact the day:

And so on.

Of course, these are samples and your situation will be unique. When I work 1:1 with families, I always personalize schedules to each family.

If you’d like to build your own schedule based on your child’s age-appropriate wake windows, I have a free Master Sleep Chart that can help guide you. Simply find your child’s age, identify their wake windows, consider the number of naps they will take, and plan accordingly.

You can grab the sleep chart here!

Do I Have to Follow Wake Windows Forever?

For many families, the implementation of wake windows is a game changer as it gives some structure and predictability within the day. 

But do you have to follow your child’s wake windows forever? The short answer is nope!

The Master Sleep Chart is helpful to identify optimal wake windows for your child until age 3.

But once your little reaches around 6 months or so, your baby will begin to benefit from a clock-based nap schedule. This means that instead of basing the next nap on what time the last nap ended, you’d base it off a set time on the clock. 

When do you know it’s time to make this change?

When your child’s naps seem pretty consistent in length, or a natural pattern emerges and they begin taking naps around the same time each day anyway, moving over to a clock-based schedule could be the right move for your family. This often happens when your baby is ready to transition from 3 to 2 naps.

Every child is different, and every family is different. But having an idea of the age-appropriate wake times for your child can help get everyone into a routine. 

If you’d like to start planning your child’s ideal schedule now, download the Master Sleep Chart, grab a pen and paper, and begin!

Trust me, when everyone in your house is getting the sleep they need, it’s life changing.

Sweet dreams!

 
Liza Kaplan Montanino