4 Tips to Help Your Newborn Sleep Better
My first baby, my daughter, was a unicorn newborn.
She was easygoing, napped well, and there really wasn’t much more to our days and nights than feeding, changing diapers, and sleeping. First babies can do that to you, you know…trick you into having another!
Then my son came along.
Things felt harder.
He was a totally different baby, with a completely different personality. Don’t get me wrong—I love him to pieces and wouldn’t trade him for the world—but, as many other moms do, I struggled with the transition from one to two kids.
Then, we hit the 8-week mark, and all of the sudden, my son would. NOT. Nap.
I was not yet a sleep consultant, so I didn't know if I should have been swaddling him for naps as well as nights?? I had never heard the term “wake windows”…
I did know what sleep cues were (I learned to watch for that magic from my first experience with my daughter!), and I would stare at my son, watch for his yawns, put him down and expect him to fall asleep, just as he had been doing up until this point. But now he wasn’t sleeping when I put him down, and I didn’t know what to do. He was clearly tired and still needed to nap - he was only 8 weeks old! So why were the days suddenly so hard? Making things even more difficult, he began waking every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight. I was a zombie, and I began struggling with intense Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, and Rage.
Needless to say, I also had an extremely fussy and overtired baby. Plus, I felt like I had nothing left to give to my daughter and husband. Cue the guilt. And forget about self-care! I felt totally lost and clueless.
Can you relate at all?
The next few weeks were some of the longest of my life; I felt like I was at my breaking point. When I was so sleep-deprived and desperate I could barely function, I reached out for some professional help. My son was 11 weeks old when I hired a sleep consultant.
I wanted something that would provide real results and take away any guesswork because honestly, my brain was too fried to even think about any method where I would have to watch a clock or a timer, make a decision, and hope for the best. I needed something quick and effective. I needed sleep.
The process wasn’t easy, but it was SO worth it. Things dramatically improved in just 3 days. First with nights, then with naps too. My entire family felt the positive effects of better-quality sleep.
And ever since, my son has been a phenomenal sleeper.
This experience with my son ignited my curiosity about the science of sleep, and led me to become a sleep consultant myself. And, now that I know more about sleep science and, more specifically, newborn sleep science, I know why that 8-week mark was so pivotal.
Around 6-8 weeks, the maternal melatonin that was carried over from in utero begins to wear off, and your baby simply isn’t as sleepy. It’s also the time that their own circadian rhythm starts to develop (ironic, huh? Isn’t the human body amazing?!), among other developmental things that further complicate sleep.
Now that I know what I know, I want to share with you my best tips for helping your newborn (and hopefully you, too!) sleep better.
Tip #1 - Follow wake windows
Wake windows are the time your baby is awake between periods of sleep. So, the time they wake in the morning and before their first nap, the time between their naps, and the time between their last nap of the day and bedtime.
Driven by their body’s need for homeostasis, naps are necessary for growth and brain development. The younger your baby is, the less awake time stamina they will have, and the more frequently they’ll need to nap.
A newborn baby’s wake window is about 45-60 minutes long, and yes, this time does include feeds! If your baby wakes up, has a 20-30 minute feed, guess what?? It’s almost naptime again! Offer a few minutes of tummy time, floor play, or staring into each other’s eyes, and then it’s time to sleep again.
This is also where watching for sleepy cues can be helpful. Once your baby begins to stare off into the distance or their eyebrows redden, it’s naptime. Being proactive instead of reactive helps them fall asleep easier, and gives them a better opportunity to put themselves to sleep, rather than you needing to help them all the time. Yes, this means you can put your baby down in their crib or bassinet awake…we will get more into that next!
Tip #2 - Utilize the Eat-Play-Sleep routine, and lay your baby down awake
Knowing that you have roughly 45 minutes to an hour before your baby needs to sleep again, you can start to provide some structure and routine to their days by following the Eat-Play-Sleep routine.
Did you know by 6 weeks babies can begin to detect routines?! Over time, this predictability will help establish a rhythm to your days and nights, and your baby will know when it’s time for them to be awake or to be asleep.
Start this daily routine when your baby wakes for the day by giving them a fresh diaper and offering a full feeding.
After their feeding - the EAT portion of the Eat-Play-Sleep routine - you can burp them and have a little bit of “play” time.
For most newborns, this PLAY might include staring into your eyes, doing a little tummy time, looking at some high-contrast black and white images for a few minutes, or even listening to you read a book.
As you approach the SLEEP portion of the routine, you’ll want to be watching for sleepy cues – starring off, reddening eyebrows, nose rubbing, ear pulling, turning their head away from stimulation, glassy eyes, and yawning – which indicate that it’s time to offer sleep. If your little one is starting to fuss or cry, they need to get to sleep as soon as possible and you’ll probably have to help them. The key here is to lay them down (swaddled!) before they get fussy to give them the opportunity to fall asleep in their crib or bassinet.
Lay them down awake and help them to sleep by moving from a place of least assistance moving towards more assistance. A good place to start is simply with shushing. If they need more support, lay a hand on their belly. Then, if you have to, add in some quick patting. If they’re still not asleep, try offering a pacifier. Finally, if needed, assist your baby to sleep by picking them up and soothing them in your arms.
The goal is to always allow your baby the opportunity to sleep without your help, but know that this isn’t always feasible, because, well, they’re a baby! They’re learning. And you are there to help teach them.
Tip #3 - Set up a safe and sleep-inducing environment
You’ve probably noticed that prior to that 6-8 week mark, your baby was a sleepy little thing who could snooze just about anywhere and through anything - in a brightly lit room, with doorbells ringing and dogs barking.
Now that your baby’s circadian rhythm is starting to develop on its own, and they no longer have that maternal melatonin left over to help them, you’re going to need to make sure they’re in the ideal environment to promote better sleep.
You’ll want it dark - as dark as possible. Cavelike darkness. (Babies aren’t born with a fear of the dark; it’s all they know from their time in utero. So the darker their room, the better!) Investing in a blackout solution is well worth it since circadian rhythm is directed by exposure to light and darkness.
You’ll also want to utilize white noise (around 60 decibels) playing for the duration of naps and nighttime. This mimics the sound level of the womb, as well as the kind of sounds they heard in the womb, and is incredibly soothing for a baby. It also helps drown out exterior noises (traffic, dogs, older siblings running around, etc.) that may otherwise wake your baby.
Notice I also mentioned using a crib or bassinet for sleep in tip #2?? These, along with a play yard, are the only recommended products on the market for your little one to safely sleep in.
Laying your baby on their back to sleep is also your go-to move for their first year of life.
They can, and should, be swaddled as well.
Tip #4 - Swaddle your baby for all periods of sleep in their crib, bassinet, or play yard
Swaddling is another soothing technique that recreates that womblike experience for your baby.
If done correctly and with the right timing, most babies LOVE to be swaddled! It also helps prevent the Moro Reflex (the one where their arms suddenly flail up) that may waken your baby from light sleep during a nap - annoying, right?
If you know, based on their wake window, that a time for sleep is approaching, or your baby is displaying those sleepy cues, it’s time to swaddle them up. You’ll want to swaddle them before they get overtired or fussy, as this is when they will fight the swaddle (and might even convince you they don’t like being confined)! The truth is, newborns crave the confinement and coziness of the womb, so if the swaddle you have isn’t working for you, it may be time to try another kind rather than ditch the swaddle altogether.
These four tips will help you give your baby a strong and healthy sleep foundation from the very beginning.
Interested in even more help?? I’ve got options for you!
Our Newborn Sleep Guide has more information and will help you with DIY sleep shaping when the time comes.
I also offer a variety of Newborn Sleep Services ranging from varying degrees of support. Want to chat on a call? There’s an option for that. Want a sleep consultant in your back pocket for the first 12 weeks with your baby? There’s an option for that, too. I invite you to look a little closer on our services page, or set up a complimentary sleep assessment call with me, to figure out how I can best serve your family at this time!
The newborn days can feel long and exhausting. I’d love to help you enjoy them a little more.